Building Community

When I first arrived at Cedar Run, one of the first things I realized was that although students knew each other and were comfortable with each other, they didn’t really know each other or hang with each other outside of Sunday morning. The sense of community to be with each other and grow with each other was minimal at best. To me, this was strange and unacceptable because I felt that if students genuinely liked each other, why wouldn’t they want to hang out and spend more time together?

Because of this, one of my chief projects was to establish and build community amongst the group. I felt, and still feel, that if we were going to build a healthy, growing youth program, we needed to be able to build community amongst each other.  Whether you have a big turnout or a smaller one, I have found that when students have shared experiences with one another, a natural connect is created with each other than can be built upon. It was these opportunities that I was looking to build.

A few ways I decided to build community at Cedar Run was to:

• Set up small groups. At Cedar Run, we draw from at least 5 high schools in the area, so it is only natural for students not to feel connected to others as they rarely see each other outside of Sunday. Because of this, I thought that a huge way to get students to feel comfortable with each other and to build strong bonds with one another was to get them together in a group setting where they can be vulnerable with each other without the fear of being rejected. That worked really well and students from different schools ended up bonding in ways that we had hoped they would. Since then, small groups have been a vital part of our way to grow spiritually, but also to build stronger community within the youth program.

• Incorporate community time at youth gatherings. Rick Beckwith, when he was the Area Director of NW Fairfax Young Life incorporated a community builder called “Family Time” during their Bible study.  During family time, students would break up into smaller groups and share about life and what the Lord was teaching them.  Then, they would get back together as a whole group and share.  Knowing some of the students who were apart of that time, I know that it was there that students felt connected to others on a deeper, real level.  It was also there that they develop life long bonds with each other that still exist today.  For me, being an outsider looking into those relationships, I wish I was apart of something like that when I was younger.  It can be and has proven to be a long term benefit and because of this, I sought to incorporate that or variations of those times into our ministry.

• Make Cedar Run events, can’t miss events. As I mentioned above, students knew each other but they didn’t really know each other well enough to feel comfortable with one another outside of a church setting. So, I felt that the best way to draw students in and help begin to bridge that gap was to create opportunities for them to be together. But, if students didn’t really feel comfortable with each other, I had to do more than just an event. I had to create an air of excitement within the group that would cause students to come out regardless of who was coming or not coming. Because of this, the leaders and I created a mantra that whenever we did a Cedar Run event or program, that it was a can not miss event! That, if you came, you knew something big was going to happen that you couldn’t miss. The excitement in the air and the relational effort our leaders made with the students caused students to come out. Once they were there with the other students, they began the process of building relationships with each other. Those relationships grew and flourished because we provided avenues for them to relate to each other in shared experiences.

• Get students interacting with each other outside of Church. A key to this is finding a commonality between the students. The best way to find that commonality is if you have leaders actively investing in students. Once you find a common interest the students share, you can begin to build those interest into friendships. For example, we had a bunch of students really into football. So, a few leaders and I set up a fantasy football league. We got 12 youth and leaders together and created this league that has now gone on for many years (even with most of them now being in college or beyond) and has been a great source of fellowship and community within the group and that unity has caused us to spawn even more leagues. The key here is that we found students who had something in common and got them to feel apart of something.

• Go on a trip together. One of the first activities I did when I started at Cedar Run was go on their annual mission trip. Many ministers will tell you going away with your students for an overnight or a weekend would take several months of contact work with these same students to get the same amount of impact. It is because you are spending at least 24 – 48 continuous hours with them. So much can happen during that time. I can tell you that my weeklong trip with these students I hardly knew would have probably taken me years to build. Without a doubt, it was the best thing I could have ever done with our youth to win the right with them and start laying down the foundations of deep and real community together. Our youth came back pumped and excited about the ministry we did on that trip and just as excited about the relationships they developed with each other and myself.

These are just a few examples of what we did at Cedar Run to bond students together and build a community. There are countless other examples that can be used. The key is identifying what will work for your church or ministry and start doing them.

TAKE A MINUTE and…

1. Identify some ways you can develop community in your church.  Is it one of the ideas listed above or something different?
2. After  you have identified a few community builders, start planning them out and work on building community.

What about you?  What are some ways you built community amongst the youth in your program?  Post them so we can all benefit.