You CAN Change the Perception

In the March 3rd Sports Section of The Washington Post, both Mike Wise and Michael Wilbon wrote great articles about Greivis Vasquez and the change that has taken place in his life in the 4 years he has been playing for the Maryland Terps Mens Basketball team.  You can check out Mike Wise’s article here and Michael Wilbon’s article here.

In case you don’t know the story of Greivis Vasquez and the Maryland Terps Mens Basketball team the past 4 years, they have been described often as inconsistent, disappointing and unreliable.  In fact, things were so bad for Greivis and Terp Basketball that before the ACC Tournament last year, many of the Terp faithful were calling for their coach to be fired and Greivis not to come back for his senior season.  Then, something funny happened. They started winning!

It started last year when got into the NCAA tournament and made it to the 2nd round with a less than talented squad.  Then, this year, they continued their winning ways as they finished the regular season number 1 in their conference. What a turn-around! Now, all of a sudden Greivis is being viewed as one of the best Maryland basketball players of all-time and was just named the ACC Player of the Year.  In addition, there are no more cries for the coach to be fired as he was just named ACC Coach of the Year!  It is amazing what winning can do.

But, they didn’t just win by chance.  They won because a change happened. That change happened primarily in Greivis.  He became the leader he was recruited to be.  He became a better scorer and a better all-around player.  Because of the change that happened in him, the team changed and a renewed “winning” environment became the norm again around Terp basketball.  They were no longer characterized as inconsistent, disappointments and unreliable.  Rather, they were winners.

So how does this apply to youth ministry?  No matter who you are or what you do, people have a perception of you.  Maybe it was from a first impression or from months or years of interactions.  It does not really matter how they got that perception.  What matters is that sometimes that perception is a negative one and can impact your ministry.

For instance, there was a perception from a couple at my church that I did not really like them and that their comments and “helpful suggestions” involving their child to me were often discounted, not respected and/or appreciated.  When I heard how they really felt about me I was blown away because I had no idea they perceived me that way.  It was not until another person, outside of this situation, helped me realized what the problem was.  The problem lied within me in how I responded to them.  Although I was not attempting to be rude or disrespectful in any way, I realized that how I responded and the words I used in response were very hurtful to them.  Therefore, from that moment on, I was careful to think more before I talked to them and be very intentional about word selection and display a positive, responsive face when they talked.  It took a while, but it was very helpful to our relationship longer term.

How can you change the perception?

In order to change, you need to first identify what kind of perception people have of you.  Do they have a positive one or a negative one?  Do they think all you do is sit down and play video games?  Or do they think you are irresponsible because you are late to meetings or drive erratically?  Even though there are many negative stereotypes of youth ministers out there (i.e., we all play video games and have goatees), every youth minister is different and needs to work on different areas.  A weak area in your work may be a strong suit for another.  So find out what perception you are giving off to others around you.

Two ways you can do this are:

• Ask a few of your most trusted supporters to give you some honest feedback on what kind of perception others have of you.  Whether you feel it or not, there will be people who do not have favorable opinions of you and what you are doing.  And, more likely than not, your most trusted supporters will have heard both the good and bad about you.  By asking a few people who you know and trust, you are opening up to hearing truth behind what may appear to be negative comments.
• Do a 360 evaluation.  A 360 evaluation is used at times for pay raises or promotions, but it can also be useful for feedback and evaluations purposes. In ministry, a 360 evaluation takes feedback from peers, supervisors, and others such as volunteer leaders, parents to provide a realistic look at your performance.  There is a place for self-evaluation in this process as well.  The benefit from this type of evaluation is that you are getting opinions from many different sets of people, rather than just one manager or supervisor.

There are pros and cons to each method.  Whether you use one of the above methods or another one not mentioned, the key is to find out what kind of perception others have of you.

Sometimes we can blow off perceptions other people have of us because “those people never liked me anyways”.  But the key question you need to ask yourself is where is the truth behind their perceptions.  If, after you find out others perceptions and reasons, you realize that there is no truth and those people never liked you anyways, then that is ok – at least you went through the process of examining those reasons. But to just discount someone else’s opinion simply because of like/dislike will do you a disservice. Regardless of their feelings, they have this perception of you for a reason and it will either limit you or help you in ministry.

Understanding how you are being perceived by others will go a long way in your growth, development and effectiveness as a person and a minister.  Now I’m not suggesting that it is your job to make people happy and to make sure everyone likes you by doing what they want you to do.  That is not the point. What I am encouraging you to do though is to take a thorough look at how others are perceiving you and make changes where appropriated.  As in any profession, you want to be viewed with respect and be known for your effectiveness.  This helps you begin to travel to road to get there.

As was the case with Greivis Vasquez, he went from zero to hero in less than a year.  The Terps and Greivis did not win by chance.  They evaluated, grew and improved in who they were and it began to pay dividends on the court.  Similarly, by asking tough questions, evaluating and understanding the perception people have of you, you can change the environment around your ministry and be better off because of it.  Sometimes it may be hard to hear what others think or believe about you.  But, if you present it to the Lord and allow him to work in your life and ministry, you will be better off and the perception others have CAN  be changed!

TAKE A MINUTE and…

• Start assessing the kind of perception you have.  Pick one of the above feedback suggestions and begin the process of evaluating.
• Spend some time praying that God would give you a discerning heart to evaluate the truth behind the perceptions.  Then, start implementing change where needed.