POLL: Where does Privacy apply in a Public Leadership Position
Ok folks, I need your help. I’m working on a new blog post but I want to get some other viewpoints before I release my position on this topic sometime next week. So I’m asking you to:
- Vote in the poll below
- Then, more importantly, explain why you voted that way.
Again, as I’m struggling to determine what the right answer is (if there is one), I would love some opinions.
As you see below, the poll is on where does privacy (i.e. your private home life – the life you lead when no one is looking) apply to a very public leadership position (i.e. a Church staff member). I understand and accept the responsibility that as a Staffer, you are held to a higher standard and your life is on display. But what about your family? Does everything in your private life need to be public knowledge and opened up to the “body of Christ”? Or are there things that can remain silent or unspoken so that not everyone in your Church knows every detail of your life (as if you were that important to begin with :))?
So please, TAKE A MINUTE and take this poll. Then, offer up a comment and then finally pass it around to others in ministry. It’d be great to get a good chatter going.
[polldaddy poll=3070475]
"Character is who we are when no one is looking" – Author Unknown
Some sins are better left unaired. To announce or "air all your dirty laundry" may not be helpful, but hurtful to you and others.
Unless we are open to the body of Christ, how will others minister to us?
Bear one another's burdens.
Confess your sins to one another.
Robbie
I voted "somewhere inbetween".
Compartmentalizing is not good with our faith or with our lives. I believe as Christians, community should be a priority and in community there should be openness… not ministry one moment and normal human the next.
With that said, however, there are vultures and leeches that show up that will do anything to eat/suck the last bit of life out of us and our families if we are not careful.
So to level it out, I think it takes a good look at how Jesus handled His interaction and openness to determine how we should be transparent. He had levels. The crowds, the 70, the 12, the 3 and then just His Father.
Robbie and Chris – thanks for you comments. Very helpful and well thought out.
I have been listening to this lecture, and he was talking about how he has made his family open to the people in his Youth Group, however on a couple days of the week, those are his family's days and unless of an emergency, he will keep that day to himself. I think that is how you should keep your privacy as well. You should have areas that are accessible by anyone, so they have a way to relate. If they don't know who you are they are less likely to be able to connect to you, and in turn, less likely to learn from you.
I voted "somewhere in between." As church leaders, I truly believe we should lead by example. Our lives should point people to Christ. If we lived in complete privacy 24/7 we would not be setting an example for our congregations to follow. But I also believe, like Chris said, there are people who would look and closely examine every, single thing our families did in an attempt to ruin the pristine image of a pastor.
somewhere in between. I agree with some of the things said already. If there is a sin, struggle or even if it is something we need prayer for, it is our duty to swallow our pride and be accountable to one another. I think it's a little selfish to think that our prayers alone are enough to resolve an issue. We need each other.
Gotta be somewhere in between. If our private life is completely closed we cannot lead from both strenght and weakness. Paul talks about living among people, which has to mean openness. But if we are too open we will not last. No one can live up to other people's expectations. If even 1/2 of any of our sins were known by all we would all be seen as unfit for ministry, as people are so much more happy to judge other people's sin than take an honest look at their own.
I went with "somewhere in between." Here's why: when a Christian leader is working through a particular sin issue, as long as there is a system of accountability in place and the issue is not a disqualifier for ministry, it is healthiest for that person to be able to work through it without the flock needing a play-by-play account. However, as much transparency as possible is best. Of course, sinlessness and total transparency is the ideal, but we are all rebels and depraved, so that's not really an option.
Good comment. I think you are right at although transparency is ideal, as long as it doesn't hinder/interfere with ministry, protecting the staffer against a play by ply account to the congregation would be good.
All these comments are great! They have given me more things to think about before I post my official position. Stay tuned for it to come out in the next week or 2.
Most people are too busy with their own stuff to take on the burden of my stuff. On a given Sunday, people come to worship God, learn, and explore their faith. My personal stuff takes the focus off God and brings it onto me. Why would I want to do that?
On the other hand, I don't keep secrets. Often I will take the lead and "share" in small groups because it gives the rest of the group permission to open up. But I always ask myself, why. If the answer is to empower others in their walk, fine. If the answer is that I am feeling a bit needy, that is not fine. Even when I share, I try to stay on the lean side of TMI. It is always better to say too little. People will ask if they want more, and you can usually tell if those are the ones with prurient interest.
Also, it seems to me, if info is given in the context of worship, prayer, or small faith-development what-is-said-here-stays-here groups, the info is held in that context. If a member violates that context, the other members usually call the gabby one to task, not the one who has shared private struggles. Perhaps I am naive, but when people see you meet life's struggles with courage and faith, it becomes yet another witness to the power of Christ.