Letting People In

We all know it, youth ministry is hard.  Whether you work at a mega-church or a small church, the pressures to perform and work wonders in teens is very high.  Youth Pastors are on the front lines in helping to save the next generation of students for Christ – that’s a lot of pressure :).

But what happens to you when your world comes crashing down?  Not your ministry world, but your personal world?  What happens when you have a close death in the family, or your marriage is strained or one of your children gets in trouble with the law – not silly pranks trouble, but drug trouble or some sort of criminal trouble?  Or what if your wife miscarries and goes into a deep depression?  What do you do then?  How do you respond and how do others respond around you?

I have been in my fair share of trying moments – after all spending over 13 years in ministry will probably do that to you.  And, I have found that when those moments come, I can do 1 of 2 things – bottle it up inside, shut everyone else out and process myself OR share it with others and let people help me.  When I bottle it up inside and try to process/handle the situation alone, I break down.  I am so emotionally invested in whatever is happening that I can’t process clearly enough to make  a rational decision.  But, if I open up and let a few people in (that’s right I said a few people – not a lot of people), then the whole outlook is different.

For example, here are some reasons and benefits of how letting people in will help you get through these trying times.

• They help you process information so that you can come up with a rational conclusion.  “A different set of eyes” sometimes makes all the difference.  When I have a trying time, I can only process how I view things.  But, if I let people in, they can sometimes offer a different opinion and present some different options that maybe I did not think about.
• They can help support you and your family with meals, babysitting, cleaning or whatever needs to be done.  If a problem arises on the homefront, it completely changes your whole world.  The world does not stop just because you have an issue.  Dishes and laundry still need to get done, children still need to be played with and cared for and   So, if you can get help on the homefront, that would be a true blessing as it allows you to focus on the crisis without a lot of distractions.
• It gives people the opportunity to serve YOU!  That’s right, Youth Pastors make a living out of serving others and helping them in their time of need.  But who ministers to you when you are in need?  It is not a 1 way street.  Youth Ministers have to be open to allowing others to come alongside of you and give to you.  It is a blessing for them to give and it most definitely be a blessing to you.

I have found that letting people into your world, especially during a hard time, is great medicine.  I’m not saying you have to tell the whole world, but you should definitely tell those closest to you and the members of your church staff.  No matter who you tell, I would encourage you to keep the circle tight.  These situations can sometime be very sensitive and sometimes the whole world does not need to know your struggles – maybe one day but not during the daily ups and downs.

How about you?  What do you feel about letting people in to support YOU?  TAKE A MINUTE and process this and respond.  Help the community of Youth Ministers really know and understand how you have seen this as a positive or a negative.