Dealing with Conflicts: Are you sure you really want to do that?

The movie “Seven” recently celebrated it’s 20th year since it was released.  I have a variety of thoughts about this including:

1. I was 20 years old when it came out, in college…some of my “glory years” #greattimes
2. The ending messed with me unlike any other movie I have ever seen before or since
3. Upon hearing that I watch the movie a girl that I had gone on a few days with refused to see me again.  #ohwell

As I was reflecting on this movie, I decided to watch the end of it again.  Don’t worry I’m not gonna post it here, but you can watch it for yourself here if you want.  It was at the end of this movie came the pviotal climax that I don’t know if anyone saw coming.

At this point Brad Pitt had a decision to make.  That is why I posted the picture of Brad Pitt and the quote from Morgan Freeman saying, “If you kill him, he will win”.  Because this quote directly ties into a ministry issue.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa Tom Pounder.  First off reviewing this movie is one thing but now you are talking about killing and ministry. Should we be concerned here and call the cops?”

Haha…no.  I mean it…no.

But seriously here is the point of this matter.  There are going to come times in your ministry time (day, month, year or career) that you experience frustration and anger.  I know this shouldn’t happen in “ministry” but if you are honest, there are those times…and they happen to be best of us.

Something is going to happen that is going to set you off. It’s what you do in those times that you either win or lose.  If you are able to avoid the blow up and deal with it successfully, you and others involved will win.  If you don’t deal with it successfully and a blow up occurs you all lose.

So how do you win here:

1. Process with someone about it.  And this is someone removed from the situation.  This is someone who has no “skin” in the game and is for you.  They will be able to help you process in healthy ways.
2. Instill the 24 hour rule.  In my girls softball programs they have a 24 hour rule.  That is for parents who disagree with something the coach did.  They don’t mind you bringing it up but they want you to sit on it for 24 hours before you bring it to your coach’s attention.  By having a 24 hour rule you are able to process and not act in anger.
3. Bring Resolution  Every situation is different but there has to be a resolution to the matter.  Why?  So it doesn’t happen again. This way you and the other people involved can work together better so this situation doesn’t occur again.

Again, even thought we think it shouldn’t happen because we are in “ministry” the reality is that there will be times when the crap hits the fan and a situation arises.  Conflicts happen!  It is how YOU handle that conflicts that will determine whether you win or lose at those times. Don’t pull a Brad Pitt and lose in those situations.  Choose to respond in healthy ways so that there can be a win for everyone involved.

So what do you think? Join the conversation! How have you handled these situations before? Share below or on social media using #ymsidekick.

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