Saying the Hard Word

Entering the NFL season last year, Peyton Hillis, running back for the Cleveland Browns, was a rising star in the NFL.  That was because during his rookie season rushed for 1177 yards and his hard nosed playing earned him the cover of the “Madden ’12” game.  But last year was a disaster for him.  He underperformed on the field, had PR issues off the field and his teammates became very frustrated with him as a teammate.  It all came to a head when a group of veterans confronted him in privated about his actions over the course of the season.  I’m sure that is not exactly how Peyton Hillis envisioned his 2nd year in the NFL turning out.

So how does this apply to ministry?

I hate confrontation and I hate saying things to people that are hard to hear. But the reality is that sometimes saying the hard word is what is needed.  As difficult as they are, sometimes closed door meetings are needed.

When we fail to say the hard word, the reality is that we can sometimes make matters worse.  In all honesty, I feel that by me not being honest with people and sharing my true feelings, I have made matters worse.  In addition to not sharing my true feelings and thoughts, I’m not helping the growth and development of that other person and I’m giving the devil a foothold to use between this other person and I.  Lots of negative that can become of not saying the hard word to someone.

However, when I have shared honestly with people it has helped.  Sure, there might be hurt and hard conversations, but at least the air is clear and that people (including yourself) know where you all stand.  Everyone knows what is expected from that moment on and you can move forward, on the same page.

So…with all this being said, is there a hard word that you have to say to someone that you have been dreading?  TAKE A MINUTE and think through your relationships and prayerfully determine what you need to say and how you need to say it.  Remember to be open, honest and truthful.  But also remember to be loving in what you say.

Thoughts, comments, questions, suggestions?  Post something so that we can all learn from each other and benefit.

Tom Pounder

A father of 4, Tom is the Student Minister and Online Campus Pastor at New Life Christian Church in Chantilly, VA. He blogs, vlogs, and podcasts regularly about student and online ministry stuff.

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