the Monday Morning Debrief: Staff Relationships

Over Thanksgiving I stumbled upon this video and article.  It’s a video of 2 news anchors actually quitting on air.  Why did they quit?  On air, they didn’t say but later on, in an interview with a  local newspaper, they said that they had a problem with upper-management.  Cindy Michaels told the Bangor Daily News that “there was a constant disrespecting and belittling of staff,” that “we both felt there was a lack of knowledge from ownership and upper management in running a newsroom” and that “there was a regular undoing of decisions.”

Have you ever felt that way about your supervisors?  A belittling of what you do (“all they do is play video games”) or maybe frustrated because you are not “spiritual” or “good” or “capable” enough to speak to adults in the main service or how about the “I’m the senior pastor, I decide what is best for our youth” comments.  It can be a little demoralizing sometimes and maybe you have felt the same way these news anchors felt.  But what do you do about it?  Is the only option to quit abruptly?

Here’s a few suggestions I would recommend 1st (some of these are from personal experience and some are suggestions of things I wish I did at different times in my ministry career):

• Pray about it.  Ask the Lord what you need to be doing in your situation (James 1:5 – “ If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.”)
• Go to your superior/fellow staffer and discuss how you feel with him/her (Matthew 18:15 – “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.”)
• If nothing gets settled, include some elders/leadership team members in what you are experiencing (Matthew 18:15-18)
• DON’T start talking to others who don’t need to know what is going on so that they get “on your side”.  That just creates tension and it can also be viewed disloyal, treachery and an act of “revolt”.

The bottom line is this.  You have to deal with it and get out in the open. Don’t sweep it under the rug and build up some anger or resentment towards the situation.  You have to confront the situation if there is any hope of it getting better.  Because, if you don’t, you run the risk of doing an impromptu “I quit” speech at the end of group one night.  Then, no one benefits from it (the students, the families and the other staffers).

Being in church work/ministry doesn’t mean you will never have conflicts amongst staff.  But again, it doesn’t have to end bad either.  By confronting the issue with fellow staffers or superiors, at the very least you are attempting to get the air open and address the situation in a healthy way.  By not confronting it, you run the risk of the issues continuing to be a problem and resentment may come into play and, once again, you end up with these out of the blue “I quite” announcements. Ultimately we have to remember that we are in the “kingdom” business and if our actions are not bringing glory to the Lord and bringing others into a relationship with Christ, then we have to make changes and address them (see above list).

Thoughts?  Experiences?  Post a comment now so that we can all learn and benefit.