Guilters suck! Lead with Vision

We know them well. They are those people in your life who say, “your excuse is lame” or “come-on man, we need 1 more person to make the group complete” or even “you think that is enough”. They are the guilters…the people who try to use guilt to cause us to do something. And lets be honest…Guilters SUCK!

I am sure we feel bad when we say no but let’s be honest, we say “no” because there is no real clear benefit to doing what they want. They are in a need and want you to help them out so they are guilting you into doing something that will benefit them…not you.

Why do people say “no” when we guilt them? It’s because…

It’s not ideal, but the reality is we have probably all guilted someone at one time or another.

So how do we not guilt people? How can we be different? We do by leading people. And we lead them when we present a compelling vision.

How do you communicate a compelling vision? You can communicate that when you paint the picture of where you want to go and how they can be a vital part of that. People want to be inspired to do more than what they could ever accomplish and when you share the bigger picture with them. It lets them in and they can see how they can be a key contributor to something great.

When you guilt someone to do something they do it because they feel…GUILTY. And they are more than likely to say “no” the next time you guilt them. However, when you inspire someone to step up by painting a clear picture, people leave feeling apart of something great and they are encouraged and would more than likely step up when you asked them again.


So, what are you going to do with your volunteers and other staffers? Are you going to guilt them to do something or are you going to inspire them with vision? Take some time right now plot out how you can inspire your team rather than defaulting to guilting. Inspiring sure is more fun for you and them as you’ll get a much better response through inspiration than guilting.

What do you think? How are you leading? Through guilt or through vision? Share your stories below so we can all learn from each other and be inspired to be better leaders. Or you can share on social media using #ymsidekick.

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Tom Pounder

A father of 4, Tom is the Online Campus Pastor as well as Social Media Director at New Life Christian Church in Chantilly, VA. He blogs, vlogs, periscopes and podcasts regularly about student and online ministry stuff. Check out his work at and on iTunes (search YMSidekick).

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